Get Ready for a Relationship Revival

Scripture to reflect upon to start your relationship revival: Psalm 85:10-13
Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.

For many years now, Jared and I have had a longing in our heart to share with other couples the things that make our relationship work so well. This doesn’t mean we’re perfect or we don’t have issues; but what we don’t have are “problems.” The problems we do have are typically outside sources, such as finances, family dramas, repairs, etc. These problems are things we share, not argue about.

 

Every relationship I’ve ever had with a man has always been filled with excessive turmoil and strife, anger and bitterness, and emotional—even sometimes physical—abuse. The last relationship I was in before Jared nearly killed me—literally. It was only when I surrendered completely to God whatever it was I was doing wrong and asked God to heal me, teach me and show me my worth, that I was able to find someone like Jared.

Jared and I do not argue. We do not fight. We almost never raise our voices at one another. We have only had, quite honestly, three instances where we actually fought. Two involved alcohol, several years ago. The other time, not too long ago, involved a smart phone and was entirely my fault, due to my lack of patience and distaste for technology.

We believe that the way we handle life, accept one another, and deal with “problems” are unique but simple actions and ideas. Any couple can easily incorporate them in their everyday living to resuscitate their relationship. This doesn’t mean your relationship is bad, or going down the tubes. Every relationship needs to be revived, or revved up, from time to time. Jared and I are going through a revival process right now, as a matter of fact.

How it Works:

·    Read the scripture and write it on an index card or post-it note. Read it every morning for 7 days. Post it in a place that you will see it often throughout the day. Make a copy for you and your partner.

·    The plan only works if both partners are involved. Make a commitment to one another and God that you will “actively” participate in each week’s Action Plan (AP).

·    I suggest journaling how the Scripture applies to you and your partner, how the AP is working for you, how your partner is responding, and if and how the AP is reviving your relationship.

·    At the end of the week, take some time alone with your partner to discuss how the AP affected you, how it changed you, how it helped you, and how it benefited you as a couple.

·    It’s not required, but it would be so great if at the end of the week you shared your experiences with me/us via email, or by leaving a comment after the original Relationship Revival posting.

Be on the lookout every Friday for a new perspective on how to revive your relationship.

 

Week 1: Lover of My Soul

Scripture to reflect upon: Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

There are so many exciting places to begin a revival in your relationship, but the first and foremost place to begin is with your personal relationship with God.

I won’t deny that Jared and I had been living in a very dry desert for the past two years, ever since our son Tavin was born.

From day one, mine and Jared’s relationship was entirely God-centered. We knew God anointed us two weeks into it. We had a supernatural experience with God one evening, and knew we were connected for life.

When we decided to have a baby, all we thought about was how it would bring us joy. We weren’t foolish enough to believe there wouldn’t be hard times, or that our lives wouldn’t change, but we had no idea just how much would change and how hard it would be.

From the day Tavin was born, we suffered many heartbreaking issues that consumed my every waking (and barely sleeping) moment. And from that point on, Tavin became my god. I put everything and everyone else on the backburner, including God.

In the process of allowing Tavin’s health, his colic, his teething and his tantrums to utterly consume me, I lost myself completely. I forgot who Tristine was. Who she was all about. Who she was as a woman, a daughter, a friend, a wife, and most importantly, a child of God. So many things just didn’t seem to go right for us with Tavin that I eventually stopped praying, too. A year later, I realized that’s why I was so empty.

I had neglected the One person who knew me and could save me. I won’t deny that it’s only been a few short months that I finally put God back where He belongs: in first place.

God needs to come first. Tell your partner, “Sorry, sweetie, but God comes first.” You see, if He isn’t first, and your partner is (or child, or anything or anyone else), you’re going to face some difficulties in your own life.

If you are desperately hoping that your partner will fulfill your every whim and desire, you are sadly mistaken. Only God can do that; but only when you put Him in first place above all others!

One of the most critical things I lost along the way these past two years has been my passion; mainly my passion for Jared. I still loved him. I still found him desirable. I just didn’t know what to do with it, because my passion for life was gone. I didn’t have a life anymore, or so it seemed. My life became Tavin’s life.

Praying to have my passion revived wasn’t enough. God showed me that I needed to find my passion for Him again first, and everything else would fall into place.

This is not always an easy task, let’s admit it. We feel that if we put God first, we will somehow neglect the ones we love here on earth. But the opposite is true. When we put God first, when we love Him above all else, our love intensifies for those in our life.

Just like your relationship with your partner, you need to nurture your relationship with God, work at it, and make a commitment to it. It means spending time with Him…alone! Quality time: Praying, worshipping, praising, admiring, talking, and listening. Learning how to do these things with God will increase your desire and your ability to do these things with your partner. I often joke with Jared when I escape with God that I’m off to spend time with my First Lover. (God’s smiling at that.) Jared isn’t offended, and neither will your partner if they are truly committed to God, too.

ACTION PLAN: Every day for the next seven days, go to a quiet place alone and sit with God. Tell God that He is your first love and you commit to putting Him first in your life from this day forward. Make him the Lover of your soul. Let Him fill you with His deep and unfailing love. Find scriptures that provide proof of His love for you. Write them down and start each day reminding yourself just how much He loves you, and then return that love back to Him.

FACT: Without God, it’s impossible to truly love anyone else in a healthy way. If you haven't established a relationship with Jesus and made Him a priority in your life, simply confess and surrender to Him and He will gladly revive your soul.

GO FURTHER: The next step is then to make God the center of your relationship with your partner. If you haven’t done so already, it’s time to have a talk with your partner.

SINGLES: This very simple and basic Truth should be your first priority in your pursuit for that special someone. If you are seeking a love relationship in the world without Jesus, you will find yourself continually in unhealthy, destructive, unfulfilling relationships. He laid down His LIFE for YOU. No human being can love you like that! This is the ULTIMATE love relationship you need first and foremost. Without it, you are lost in the crazy dating world, filled with people who are only looking out for themselves. Date Jesus for a while. As silly as that sounds, it's one of the most amazing experiences you'll ever have. He will never hurt you, never talk down to you, never betray you, never leave you! Aren't those all the things you're looking for? He will satisfy your soul and fill you with an overabundance of joy. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).

God wants to make sure that you have already placed Him first in your life, and will keep Him there even when the person of your dreams comes along. Stop moving and acting by the flesh, and instead be content and happy with God as the Lover of your soul for now. When you completely and utterly surrender yourself to Him, He can start preparing you for that amazing person He already has lined up for you! The reason I tell you this is because this is how I met my husband, Jared. God is faithful when you just let go and let Him do the searching for you! In the meantime, find pleasure in His presence. Let God fill that emptiness in your heart. He's eager to do it.